Domestic abuse and violence are pervasive issues affecting millions of individuals globally. As if this weren’t deeply troubling on its own, common myths about abuse can hinder efforts to prevent and address it effectively.
Misconceptions around domestic abuse and violence are so prevalent that they have become a matter of cultural subtext. Many people not only subscribe to these false beliefs but also may not even be aware of how they came to believe them. Here are some myths and facts about domestic violence and other forms of intimate partner abuse. Myths About What Domestic Abuse Is and Who It ImpactsSome of the greatest myths about domestic violence and abuse have to do with what defines abuse and who can be impacted by it. Myth: Domestic Abuse Only Involves Physical ViolenceFact: Domestic abuse encompasses a wide range of behaviors beyond physical violence. It can include emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. Abusers may use intimidation, threats, isolation, and manipulation to control their victims. That’s because domestic abuse is ultimately about unhealthy levels of power and control, and it can manifest in various non-physical forms. Myth: Domestic Abuse Only Happens in Poor, Uneducated, or Minority CommunitiesFact: Domestic abuse affects individuals regardless of socioeconomic status, education level, race, or ethnicity. It occurs in all communities and across all demographics. The belief that it only happens in certain groups is a stereotype that can prevent survivors from being recognized as such or seeking help. Myth: Men Are Not Victims of Domestic AbuseFact: Domestic abuse is not gender-specific and can affect anyone. People in LGBTQ+ communities disproportionately experience intimate partner violence and abuse. And while cisgender women are statistically the most frequent targets, cisgender men can also be victims. Men may face additional stigma and be reluctant to report abuse due to societal expectations and stereotypes about masculinity. Myth: Domestic Violence Only Happens to AdultsFact: One of the biggest myths about child abuse in a domestic setting is that it is strictly a parent-to-child behavior. In fact, youth can experience domestic abuse alongside a parent. Teens can also suffer from stalking or intimate partner violence at the hands of predators or dating partners. Even those whose exposure is limited to witnessing abuse experience profound negative impacts, from the stress of financial and home life instability to serious mental health disorders. For these kids and teens, removal from these relationships, as well as appropriate forms of therapy, are critical for healing and recovery. Myths About the Causes of Domestic AbuseMany misperceptions about the underlying drivers of abusive behavior serve only to defend it, excuse it, normalize it, or mischaracterize it as situational. Myth: Victims Provoke Their AbusersFact: No one deserves to be abused, and survivors are not responsible for the abuser’s actions. Abuse is a choice made by the abuser, not a reaction to their partner’s behavior. This myth perpetuates victim-blaming and discourages victims from seeking help. Myth: Alcohol and Drugs Cause Domestic ViolenceFact: While substance abuse can exacerbate violent behavior, it is not the root cause of it. Domestic violence is primarily about power and control. Blaming alcohol or drugs shifts responsibility away from the abuser and overlooks underlying patterns of control and dominance. Myths About How to Stop Domestic AbuseSome of the most harmful misconceptions about abusive behavior are those around taking action to stop it. They fail to accept that abuse is a chronic and cyclical problem, and they can also place blame on survivors in ways that perpetuate other forms of misogyny. Myth: If the Abuse Was That Bad, Survivors Would Just LeaveFact: Leaving an abusive relationship is extremely complex. Survivors may face numerous barriers, such as fear of further violence, financial dependence, lack of support, emotional attachment to the abuser, and custody or other legal complications. Further, the period after leaving an abuser is often the most dangerous time for survivors, and many are murdered during this time. If you know someone who is experiencing domestic abuse, you can help them by doing things like listening without judgment, offering support, and providing practical assistance if they decide to leave the relationship. Myth: Domestic Abuse Is a Couple’s Business and Should Be Dealt With PrivatelyFact: Domestic violence is a major public health issue that requires community intervention and support. Treating it as a private matter fails to recognize the problem as a pervasive issue, isolates victims, and allows abuse to continue unchecked. Public awareness, legal intervention, and community support are crucial in addressing and preventing domestic violence. Myth: If the Abuser Is Sorry and Apologizes, the Abuse Will StopFact: Apologies and promises to change are common tactics used by abusers to manipulate their victims. Without genuine commitment to change — and often, professional intervention — the cycle of abuse is likely to continue. Temporary remorse does not equate to long-term change. Myth: Counseling Will Stop the Abuser’s BehaviorFact: While partner or marriage counseling can be beneficial, it is not a guaranteed solution to stop an abuser’s behavior. Many abusers do not change, even with therapy. The focus should be on ensuring the victim’s safety and holding the abuser accountable for their actions. Understanding the myths and facts about domestic abuse and violence is crucial for providing appropriate support and intervention. By dispelling these misconceptions, we can create a more informed and compassionate society that supports victims and holds abusers accountable. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, seek help from local resources or national hotlines. Awareness and education are key steps in combating domestic violence. Fight Myths About Domestic Abuse With Project WomanProject Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. If you have any questions or would like to know more about the programs and services available, please contact us. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, do not wait. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 1-800-634-9893. Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring. Leaving an abusive relationship of any kind is one of the bravest steps someone can take toward reclaiming their peace and safety. If you find yourself in such a situation, know that you're not alone and that there are clear, practical steps to follow. This guide is designed to help women, including those with children, plan their exit and navigate the process of leaving an unsafe environment. Here’s how you can start this pivotal journey toward a safer life.
How Do You Leave an Abusive Relationship? Here are some key guidelines for leaving an abusive husband or partner. Recognize the Signs of Abuse Abuse can manifest in many forms: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial, or psychological. Emotional abuse, which includes behaviors like name-calling, constant criticism, and isolation from friends and family, can be particularly insidious because it chips away at one's self-esteem and sense of reality. For this reason and many others, leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is just as essential as escaping any other type of abuse. Recognizing the signs of abuse is a crucial first step. An abusive relationship often involves patterns of power and control where one partner feels dominated or frightened by the other. If you are experiencing this in any form, don’t second-guess yourself: make a plan for exiting the relationship safely. Safety Planning: Your Blueprint for Leaving In the context of an abusive relationship, safety planning is key. If at all possible, create a personalized and practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while you are in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Key Elements of a Safety Plan Here are some things to consider and prepare:
Legal Considerations and Protections Understanding your legal rights is essential. This might involve filing for a restraining order or learning about custody laws if children are involved. Many online resources offer specific advice on legal protections available to women leaving abusive situations, as do many domestic violence shelters. Financial Independence Importantly, statistics on leaving an abusive relationship indicate that financial abuse occurs in 98% of all reported cases of domestic abuse. Establishing financial independence can be a significant step toward freedom. This might include opening a separate bank account, building a small stash of emergency funds, or securing employment. Mental Health and Emotional Support Leaving an abusive relationship can be traumatic, and mental health support is critical. Seek counseling or join support groups where you can discuss your experiences and feelings in a safe environment. How to Leave an Abusive Relationship With a ChildLeaving an abusive partner when children are involved requires additional planning and consideration for their safety and emotional well-being. Planning for Children If possible, take the following steps if you plan to exit the abusive relationship with one or more children:
Seek Continued Support After Leaving Whether you’re escaping on your own or with children, leaving an abusive relationship is not the end of the journey. Continued support is necessary to heal and rebuild life after abuse. Seek out ongoing services for you and your children, such as:
Leaving an abusive relationship is a complex and challenging journey, but it’s also an incredibly courageous step toward reclaiming freedom and safety. Utilize every resource available, from local organizations to national hotlines, and remember that you are not alone in this fight. Each step taken is a move toward a safer, healthier future for you and your children. Find Freedom From Domestic Violence With Project Woman Project Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. If you have any questions or would like to know more about the programs and services available, please contact us. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, do not wait. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 1-800-634-9893. Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring. Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence, or IPV) is a pervasive human rights violation affecting millions of people globally; it is not limited to any age, race, religion, or socioeconomic status. It encompasses not only physical violence, but emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse.
Offering your help for victims of domestic violence can be a crucial step in their healing and empowerment. Whether you know someone who is experiencing abuse or want to help survivors in general, this is your guide to offering effective assistance in their journey toward safety and recovery. How to Help a Survivor You Know Here are some strategies you can use to help individual survivors you know or come into contact with. Understanding the Signs Recognizing the signs of domestic violence is the first step in providing assistance. Symptoms may include:
Awareness of these signs enables you to approach the situation with sensitivity and care. Offering Support You can offer empathy, resources, and encouragement by doing the following:
If it’s appropriate and feasible for you to engage in domestic violence survivor intervention, you can do the following:
How to Help Survivors in Your Community and Beyond You can support the cause of mitigating and reducing domestic violence and empowering survivors in a variety of ways. Educate Yourself and Others Increase your understanding of domestic violence and the challenges survivors of domestic violence face, then share this knowledge with others in your sphere of influence. Teach young people about healthy, respectful relationships and potential red flags to look out for. Make people aware that some demographics are more severely impacted by abuse than others (such as women of color, women with disabilities, and undocumented women) and may face greater barriers to getting the help they need. Take Legislative Action Vote for leaders, laws, programs, and funding that work to end domestic violence and provide more resources for survivors in more demographics. Support Domestic Violence Organizations Support organizations that work to prevent domestic violence and offer key services to survivors. You can do this in any of the following ways:
Supporting survivors of domestic violence is about empowering them to make their own decisions and supporting them through their journey, regardless of the choices they make. Your role is not to rescue or save them, but to be a consistent, supportive presence in their life. Remember, healing is a process, and your unwavering support can be a powerful source of strength for those navigating the aftermath of domestic violence. Support Domestic Violence Survivors With Project Woman Project Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, do not wait. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 1-800-634-9893. Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring. Domestic violence shelters play an indispensable role in safeguarding survivors and fostering healthier communities. These facilities offer more than just a temporary safe space for abuse survivors and their children; they provide a foundation for rebuilding lives affected by violence — and for building healthier communities. Here’s why having a local domestic violence shelter benefits not just survivors but everyone in your community.
Immediate Safety and Support As a first line of defense and protection, emergency shelter services offer women immediate assistance and safety:
Beyond immediate safety, shelters offer holistic health services for survivors aimed at recovery, autonomy, protection, self-sufficiency, and wellness. These support services are critical for the well-being and empowerment of survivors, aiding them in navigating the complex aftermath of abuse. Mental Health Services Survivors of domestic violence (sometimes also called intimate partner violence) often experience profound mental health challenges, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety. Shelters provide access to mental health services, including individual and group counseling. These are vital not only for healing, but also for preventing women from becoming vulnerable to violence in the future, either from the same abuser or a new one. Physical Health Services Many shelters also provide access to medical care or referrals to health care services, addressing both the short- and long-term physical health needs of survivors. This holistic approach to health care is essential for survivors who may have neglected their health while in abusive situations. In addition to addressing immediate medical concerns, shelters often provide counseling that works to reduce the physical self-harm (such as substance abuse) that stems from the trauma and mental health disorders associated with abuse and violence. Economic Empowerment and Stability Economic independence is crucial for survivors who want to permanently break free from abusive relationships, as many are financially dependent on their abusers. In fact, financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. Many shelters offer assistance with employment, financial planning, and securing affordable housing. All of these are vital for helping women to establish stable, self-sufficient lives and long-term independence. Strengthening Communities and Preventing Further Violence Preventing domestic violence and its costs to society begins with offering key resources for assisting women who are experiencing it and educating the public about healthy relationships. Awareness and Prevention Domestic violence shelters play a pivotal role in raising awareness about domestic violence and its impact on individuals and communities. Educational programs and outreach efforts foster a culture of nonviolence, promoting healthy relationships and respect. Shelters can be instrumental in changing societal norms and preventing violence through education and advocacy. Reducing the Costs to Society Intimate partner violence costs the US over $8.3 billion every year. This is due to a variety of factors that don’t just harm women but also diminish their productivity in the workforce and economy:
By supporting survivors in achieving independence, shelters not only transform lives but also reduce the economic burden of intimate partner violence on public resources. Effective shelter programs mitigate these costs by preventing further violence and reducing the need for emergency services. Providing Valuable Training and Resources Shelters often also provide education, training, and resources for other parties who may interact with survivors. These may include people such as:
Training these people enables them to provide more useful, contextually informed services to women impacted by domestic violence and to better advocate for their rights and wellness. Encouraging Community Support and VolunteerismShelters encourage community involvement through volunteer programs and support networks, strengthening the local social fabric. This involvement not only aids the shelters’ operations but also builds a sense of collective responsibility about addressing and preventing domestic violence. The presence of a domestic violence shelter in a community has immense value. By understanding and investing in domestic violence shelter services and education programs, communities can foster safer, healthier, and more resilient environments for all their members. When you support these vital institutions, you help to eradicate domestic violence and build a foundation for lasting community wellness. Protect Yourself and Others From Domestic Violence With Project WomanProject Woman is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by providing resources to protect, educate, and empower. We offer a wide range of programs and services to support those affected by domestic violence, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, dating violence, and/or stalking. If you have any questions or would like to know more about the programs and services available, please contact us. Project Woman offers many ways to help survivors. Financial contributions help provide safety, shelter, and trauma-informed services. Donations of items on our wish list or posted on our Facebook page provide survivors with necessities and comfort. We also regularly post volunteer opportunities on our site. All gifts of money, items, and time — no matter how large or small — make a profound difference in people’s lives! Thank you for caring. Project Woman is grateful that the House of Representatives passed H.R.2119, the Family Violence Prevention and Services Improvement Act (FVSPA) of 2021. This bipartisan, bicameral bill reauthorizes FVPSA, which has been unauthorized since 2015. H.R.2119 also increases the funding authorization to ensure more programs can receive FVPSA funds and access to technical assistance, centers the needs of Communities of Color, Tribes, and LGBTQ+ survivors, and expands investment in prevention.
FVPSA, one of three critical pillars of the federal government’s response to domestic violence, addresses domestic violence from a public health approach while providing core funding and support for domestic violence shelters. Reauthorization of this program with its enhancements will ensure survivors at Project Woman and in all communities can access to life-saving services. Next, the Senate will take up its companion bill, S.1275, which passed out of the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee on a voice vote. Contact your senators and ask them to VOTE FOR S.1275: https://www.senate.gov/senators/.
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